Why I can't post an ass picture on the internet

Monday, March 07, 2016

With my newly discovered love for Chelsea Handler, she has inspired me in several ways. She is, in fact, my most recent spirit animal.

After viewing her four-part Netflix documentary and her "Uganda be kidding me" comedy tour, I have nothing but mad respect for this women. She has no fear and tells it like it is. I have never felt so inspired to not give a damn what people think while being slightly more of an asshole.

If you know anything about Chelsea, her nonexistent fear does not even stop her from posting bare naked ass pictures online. ITS JUST A BUTT!!!! This is what I aspire to do to get in touch with my spirit animal, but here is a list of reasons as to why I cannot:

  1. I am newly representing a sorority, and they say we represent our letters everywhere we go...and with everything we post. So my bare ass, unfortunately, does not make the cut
  2. Let's get this straight: my ass is basically Versace and my following consists of 75% peasants, so why make such a nice piece of royalty so accessible?
  3. My speech teacher from high school follows me on Instagram..oh and my econ professor too (yikes)
  4.  I am a 19-year-old college student, such picture could put me at risk for future job opportunities
I'm sure there are PLENTY of other reasons (my mother could see it, grandma..etc) but as for now I shall refrain from doing so. Chelsea Handler has a career set up for herself, and as a comedian, posting a bare naked picture probably only does good things for her career. So for now, I will keep all booty pics to myself. 

You Might Also Like


Popular Posts

Like us on Facebook

Flickr Images